


Laundry Day Got a Little Off Track

by kachek47



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BDSM, Condoms, Gloves, Interspecies, Interspecies Sex, Light BDSM, M/M, Nook/Bulge Headcanon, Sheathplay, Spanking, Xeno, Xenophilia, safe sex, sheath fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:04:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kachek47/pseuds/kachek47
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years ago Karkat hopped planet to earth, found a roommate, and in the course of knowing him has somehow found his way into said roommate's pants. Said roommate is also nearly as much of a freak in the bedroom as he is. Beautiful things occur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Laundry Day Got a Little Off Track

**Author's Note:**

> It took me literally a year to write this fic, I'm that slow. Hope you like sheathfucking and Weird Alien Shit as much as I do
> 
> I was planning on making this a series of Dave and Karkat's Wacky Adventures Doing Weird Sex Shit but it's taken me so long to write one chapter I think I'm gonna leave it at this. Maybe I'll return to it eventually, who knows. SOMEDAY.
> 
> EDIT: 100 kudos?! Holy shit, I never expected this fic to get so popular. I'm glad so many people like it!! Thank you to all my readers!

Karkat woke slow to the shrill staccato of an alarm, the good sopor he’d splurged on this paycheck still fogging his pan. With a watery groan, faculties just barely functioning at the lowest level of consciousness, he reached out of the comforting security of the recuperacoon and slapped his hand on the nearby table a few times. 

Slap. 

Slap. 

Silence.

His hand retreated from the alarm clock back to the warmth of the slime he was immersed in. This cycle continued a few times until someone caught his emerged wrist mid flail and started pulling.

“Alright you shriveled goddamn raisin, up. You’re gonna start fermenting and I ain’t dealing with your soupy ass when you finally liquefy in that stuff.”

Karkat growled through the slime. Dave was up. He pulled back on his limb, unwilling to surrender it, but judging by the bulge of recuperacoon wall against his side, the human had his foot propped on the outside for more leverage like a cheating piece of shit. Despite his struggling, Dave got his head above the slime, and the unwanted cold air was enough to shock him into coughing. Fantastic. He loved starting out his day churning up foam in his lungs.

In an effort to not suffocate, he interrupted his coughing fit to forcibly exhale as hard as he could before hacking again, spitting up foam.

“Gross.”

Without looking he could picture the exact way Dave had his nose wrinkled in disgust. It wasn’t Karkat’s goddamn fault he’d decided on a rude awakening. Dave tangled his fingers into Karkat’s hair, pushed back his bangs right between his horns and gave his scalp an affectionate scratch, like he would a barkbeast. Karkat met it with a proper growl this time, deep and rumbling and not quite threat but certainly getting there.

“Love it when you talk dirty to me in the morning sunshine.”

There was a quick pressure on his cheek, an exaggerated kissing noise, and then the hand left his hair with the sound of fading bare footsteps.

Karkat slumped over the side of his recuperacoon and finally bothered to wipe the slime out of his eyes, trying to adjust to the cold air on his wet skin and letting the temperature wake him up every bit as much as the smell of brewing coffee. 

They’d known eachother four years, roomates for the same amount of time, and in the course of knowing eachother had smeared haphazardly through every quadrant Karkat owned and a few he was sure were made up. 

Dave was nice enough to nudge a burning hot cup of coffee against the back of his limp hand a few minutes later, and he worked up the motor control to take it and grunt out something that could’ve been a thank you. Whatever it was they had, the conversation about labels had been resolved with a mutual “let’s not,” and Karkat was fine with that.

What he wasn’t fine with was how Dave refused to add as much sugar as he liked. He liked his coffee with a sludgy sweet consistency the human found repulsive and unhealthy, like he was so concerned with health himself with how much junk food he kept in the apartment. He spent a few more moments sipping his subpar morning fuel before setting it aside and feeling like he was producing enough body heat on his own to haul himself out of the thin slime. Green ran down his skin and he sat on the edge of the opening to slough it off, dripping it back into the recuperacoon. It was the good stuff, he was trying to make it last before he had to start cutting in the agar.

Eyes still gummy, he reached for the towel on the hook beside him only to realize with a sinking feeling in his digestion sac that he was pawing at empty air.

“DaaaaAAAAVE!!” 

He was met with a muffled explanation from the nutrition block.

“Laundry day!”

Of course.

With an aggravated groan, Karkat swung his legs off the top of the recuperacoon and slid off, shivering as he stumbled to the connected ablution block. At least there was still enough hot water, and Dave the laundry snatcher had mercifully saved collecting the towels here for last. He stayed in the shower until he felt like he wasn’t on the bare edges of consciousness, and let the steam ease the rest of the slime out of his aeration sacs. It was harder to bring himself to get out than it was to get in, but he eventually relinquished the comfort of hot water in favor of a towel.

He bent over to rub his head dry and wiped the steam off the mirror to see a mess of reflected hair that nearly engulfed his horns. Karkat was a collection of things that seemed out of place, like they’d been cobbled together at the last minute out of spare parts. Sharp cheekbones, square jaw, flat nose, sunken in eyes, and a thin wiry frame. He was short by troll standards, tall by human, and with horns that did nothing to make up his height. A collection of dark bruises graced the pronounced chitin plates at his collar like a fine necklace, though those were a recent addition. He lost himself staring at them for a few moments, picturing the matching set that he’d given Dave a few nights ago, before finally turning to leave. Fantasizing could wait until after laundry.

The stumble back to their shared respite block was significantly more covered and less shivery, and he came out with his coffee, a wet towel over his shoulder, and in the standard uniform of Sunday laundry days everywhere: sweats and a tshirt. The towel was dropped off in the heaping baskets by the front door, and when he finally showed his face in the nutrition block it was to break into the sugar packets in the cupboard and to microwave his now lukewarm coffee. 

Dave was busying himself eating a truly ridiculous amount of fried potatoes propped up against the counter on one side of their hallway-like nutrition block, skillet still on the stove. Karkat would have asked to share if he didn’t know Dave was touchy about his food. He was more a coffee for breakfast person anyway.

“G’morning sleeping beauty.”

Dave only came up to his shoulders, less so when he slouched like this, with warm brown skin and a shock of cottony hair bleached light at the top. The trademark shades weren’t on yet for the day, Karkat was one of the few people he felt comfortable making eye contact with, though they were still folded into the collar of his shirt. His shirt itself had something that was no doubt a pop culture reference, though it was beyond Karkat, and he was still in the quadrant print boxers he’d given Dave for his wriggling day. His roommate gave him a sunny smile that was just exaggerated enough to be annoying. Since when was he a morning person?

Karkat offered a grunt in return and faced away towards the opposite counter to stare at his coffee spinning in the microwave. Wow alright, according to the digital readout it wasn’t quite as morning as he thought. But apparently the bare greeting just wasn’t enough attention for Dave. A stubby human foot nudged at the back of his knee, making him momentarily shift his weight to the opposite leg as the joint gave. His coffee wasn’t even goddamn done yet.

“Can I HELP you.”

It was less of a question and more of a snapped prelude to an inevitable insult. Karkat refused to turn and give Dave his full attention, just cast a glare over his shoulder. Dave had put his now empty plate down.

“Just wanted to see my roomie’s happy face, ready to enjoy the day and washing eachother’s soiled skivvies like a happily married domestic sitcom couple.”

Dave offered him another cheesy fake grin and batted his eyelashes, chin tipped high in an almost challenge. Karkat kicked behind him and felt the pads of his foot connect with a shin. Laughing followed it, even as Dave shifted to the opposite leg. This kind of attention was what he wanted. They’d played this song and dance before.

But before he could turn to fully to engage in the old flirting pissing contest the microwave chimed, and suddenly coffee was more important. He propped himself back on the counter and promptly burned his tongue.

“Th-sho. Are you pisshing me off today purely incidentally or were you feeling needy enough for a quick morning fuck.” He ran his tongue across the ridges on the top of his mouth, as if it could wipe away the sting. Dave tipped his head to the side and smirked in that infuriating way.

“We ain’t on any kind of schedule today sweetcheeks, doesn’t have to be quick.”

Yeah, that’s what he thought.

Karkat made sure to make a point of how slow he sat his half finished coffee on the counter, drawing out a long expectant silence before the clack of ceramic on laminated plywood. He tipped his own chin in challenge, baring his throat, and gave the human a disdainful look.

“Convince me.”

Dave hardly had to take two steps with how narrow the nutrition block was, and a hand slid up his abdomen slow, palm sinking heat into his skin where it paused over one of his thorax plates. The look Dave gave him was sultry enough to be almost comically out of place, and Karkat was torn between laughing and paying attention to how much his ears were burning.

“I think I can manage that.”

That sultry look was a smirk in the blink of an eye, and it was so textbook cheesy Karkat did laugh this time, a stuttery bubbly noise that drowned out the hum of the thermal hull for a moment, right before Dave’s hands snuck up under his shirt. He was grinning, Karkat could tell from the corner of his eyes when he looked away, trying and failing to suppress his own smirk. He wasn’t exactly turned on yet, though the hands on his abdomen felt nice.

“You know what I think this situation needs though?” Karkat could hear the impending joke in Dave’s voice, though he couldn’t stop himself from falling into the trap anyway.

“What?”

“MORE COOORN!”

Karkat let out a choked bark of laughter. The shitty anime video Dave had shown him a few weeks ago, he’d all but forgotten about it. According to Dave’s dubious description it was a relic of human meme culture he had to be introduced to.

“The day you try getting any vegetable matter near my ass is the day you die.” Dave was grinning, feeling at his grubscars like it was his first time finding them, and despite the inside joke Karkat was slowly growing more conscious of the weight of Dave’s hip at his groin.

“That’s what you say about every weird new sex thing we try. Remember the first time I suggested docking? And who’s the guy that came in his sheath after like a minute.”

Karkat let out a long groan, trying to be subtle about the way he pushed his hips into Dave, seeking more pressure, something. Dave pushed back, and the hard ridge of the human’s hipbone was the perfect height to press against the chitin plate that covered his sheath. Karkat sucked in a breath, hands finally settling at his roommate’s sides.

“That was painful as hell, pretty fantastic before I finished though.”

“You want to try again?”

Karkat paused to consider. It had been painful last time sure, troll sheaths weren’t built to be penetrated. But there had been this blissful moment after the stretch where his muscles gave and Dave had fucked his sheath just as easily as his nook, pressed right up against his bulge. Karkat steadfastly refused to look at Dave, face burning. He could already feel the half swell of his roommate’s dick against his thigh, and his own bulge just beginning to fill his sheath in interest. He must have paused a moment too long, Dave’s thumbs stroked his sides as he backtracked.

“Hey, we don’t have to if you don’t-“

“No… I mean yes, fuck, I want to. I’ll just tell you when I’m about to go so you can pull out.”

“You sure? You sounded like you were in a lot of pain afterwards, I don’t want to hurt you again.” The guilty look Dave shot him was enough to make Karkat almost pity the man.

“Dave, I’ll be fine. I am all for your human genitals violating mine in new and exciting ways. I sincerely doubt this is a common interspecies practice but I am very alright with experimenting.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve vegetables?”

Karkat scoffed and shoved at Dave’s shoulder, which got another grin out of the human.

“As long as it doesn’t involve vegetables. Taint chafing fuck what is wrong with you.”

Dave pressed a kiss to his chest and stepped back, tugging Karkat along by the hand.

“Alright, but no experimenting in the kitchen, I mopped this floor like last week.”

Their shared walk to the respite block was less a walk and more an excited stumble, Karkat broke their linked hands halfway to strip his shirt off over his head and toss it somewhere in the direction of the couch before ducking into the block and shutting the door. 

Dave was already rummaging in the top drawer of his nightstand, perched on all fours on his rumpled sheets. He was still clothed, but his shades lay neatly folded by his nightstand, and somehow he always seemed more naked with them off. As Karkat watched, he dug out a foiled condom packet that he paused to carefully hold between his teeth before going in for more. Karkat stepped over to stand at Dave’s side and took advantage of the position to get a nice couple handfuls of his roommate’s ass. Dave’s breath hitched and he twitched at the contact, pausing his search. His boxers were soft, Karkat knew he had a personal vendetta against stiff cotton weaves, and they shaped tight against his skin as he kneaded. He only paused when Dave let the packet drop from his mouth to speak.

“Thought we were supposed to be payin’ attention to YOU this time?” He sounded a little strained, but still managed to deposit the box of nitrile gloves and bottle of lube on the bed.

“We are.” Said Karkat decisively. “But also you have a really nice ass and the whole magnetic hand analogy has been severely overused but-“

Karkat let out an ungainly squawk as Dave turned to hook an arm around his torso and pull him down to the bed, a grin on the human’s face.

“Have I told you you’re a fuckin’ shitbrain yet?” The insult was much lessened by the fact that Dave was peppering kisses on the sore marks at his thorax. Karkat let him, half on the bed, his legs still bent off the edge.

“I believe the proper translated term is shit SPONGE thank you, whatever happened to cultural sensitivit-“

Dave cut off his mock offense with a kiss, and Karkat was just fine with that. 

What he wasn’t fine with, was how it only lasted a few seconds before Dave broke away to mess with his nightstand again. Karkat let out an aggravated groan. He knew without looking that Dave was putting on a playlist, messing with his phone in the speaker dock because it was physically impossible for him to fuck without music on. If he didn’t say something they would be there all day.

“Dave.”

“One second babe I gotta find this one I’m thinkin’ of.”

“Dave if you don’t pick one within ten seconds I am going to start jerking off to your indecision.”

“Is that a kink? I bet that’s a kink for someone somewhere. You ever think about how everyone gets off to weird shit, like there’s people that stick their dicks in balloons for fun or whatev-“

Karkat cut him off by planting his hand on Dave’s ass hard, squeezing as the human sucked in a breath. Dave wasn’t one for pain, he hoped he hadn’t done it too hard, and was relieved when instead of a nervous warning he got Dave looking down between his legs at him with a grin.

“DOWN tiger!”

“Put on that slow rock one you did before, I liked that one.”

“I don’t know if I should take requests after a spanking.”

“Oh fuck off!”

Dave directed his attention back to his docked phone, but shifted his weight between his bent legs, wiggling his ass in Karkat’s grip. Karkat took the opportunity to knead, sliding one thumb down the sensitive flesh where a nook would have been on a troll and smirking when Dave pressed himself back into his hand. He was never really going to get over the weird thrill of fucking someone with different genitals than he had. Dave was so… foreign, so alien, not made to fit perfectly with his body, and something about making it work anyway was kind of kinky. Call him a xeno freak. 

Karkat rubbed slow circles at the one spot Dave liked, right behind his balls, and the small ensuing whine sent heat to his gut. A low guitar riff started in a few seconds later, one he recognized, and Karkat smiled in smug triumph as Dave dropped his head and pressed back hard against the contact.

“Do you want something?” Karkat asked, all fake innocence. His thumb stopped its movement, and Dave groaned.

“Goddamnit don’t be a tease.”

“I don’t know if I should take requests after being bulgeblocked.” He made sure the smugness was evident in his tone, and Dave groaned louder in frustration as he turned, stooping down low where Karkat lay to kiss him.

Things finally picked up. Dave kissed hard and slow, and Karkat’s hand edged up Dave’s thigh until he could trace the outline of the man’s dick through his boxers, thumbing at it slow and getting a low satisfying groan against his lips. Dave wasn’t quite hard yet, but he was certainly getting there. Karkat found his balls again and dipped behind them, fitting his hand between Dave’s pudgy thighs and grinding the heel of his palm up against the spot he liked. Dave’s breathing stuttered against Karkat’s cheek, and he moved like he was unsure whether he wanted to press back against Karkat’s hand or forward into his mouth.

It took only a few moments of the contact for Dave’s hand to find his wrist, groping at it and tugging it forward to cup his package instead. Karkat finally took mercy on him, finding his dick again and maneuvering it to where he could give it an appreciative squeeze through the fabric.

Even after all this time, Dave’s cock still felt foreign. Strange. It sent a shaky little thrill up Karkat’s abdomen. He squeezed again, felt it stiffen and twitch, and pushed back on the shaft, feeling foreskin shift across flesh. Dave whined into his mouth, and Karkat squirmed, pressing his thighs together. His bulge was beginning to gain interest again, swelling in his sheath and putting the barest pressure on the chitin plate protecting it.

Dave patted blindly down his abdomen and Karkat twitched at the unexpected contact to his exposed belly, but Dave hooked his thumb into the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers and Karkat saw his reasoning. He lifted his hips obligingly for the human, and Dave shimmied them down as far as he was able, breaking the kiss to finish the job and slide them down to bunch at Karkat’s knees.  
He felt so exposed, prone and nearly naked on his back, his genital slit exposed to the cool air. Something about the vulnerability both kicked at his self preservation instinct and had his pan singing praises in the form of endorphins. Kinks were weird like that. He rolled his hips up, badly missing the contact, and Dave shushed him as he rubbed gentle circles just above his sheath. It was such a bizarre gesture Karkat had to snort in amusement.

“If you’re trying to introduce some kind of pale kink to this scene, my face is up here.”

Dave was busy groping behind him, not even looking.

“I was going for more of a ‘calm your tits I’m getting a glove’ but I could totally go pale on your bulge if that’s what you get your rocks off on.” He finally found what he was looking for, depositing everything he’d pulled out of the drawer by his side and fishing a glove out of the box. Karkat scoffed again.

“That’s a weird and specific fetish I’m sure someone has out in the universe.” Karkat’s pupils blew a few fractions wider as he watched Dave roll on the thin black glove. He swallowed. The low thrums of a bass guitar filled the short silence. “I mean pale soothing while fucking is a huge goddamn thing of mine, you know that, but I’M the one being soothed, you know? When you start splitting me up into different body parts it gets weird. My genitals don’t benefit from emotional soothing.”

He didn’t have long to wait before Dave was touching him again. He didn’t go straight for his nook, but instead pressed the knife edge of his ungloved hand into the seam between the chitin plating on the top of Karkat’s thigh and where it met his pelvis, right where he liked the pressure. Karkat sucked breath between his teeth and let it out in a low trill, squirming against the hard contact.

“So your alien cock doesn’t have feelings is what I’m hearing.”

“My bulge has the individual intelligence of drunken frat boy that only has one interest, god damnit Dave.” Dave snickered, an almost silent grin and shaking of his shoulders. Karkat idly stroked at the human’s dick through his boxers, suddenly remembering his hand was on it, and enjoyed the hitched breath he got in return.

From one hip Dave’s hand wandered, brushing fingertips over Karkat’s lower abdomen in an arc to jump to the seam of his other leg. He pressed his thumb between the plates below his skin, jimmying it slow like he was trying to pry Karkat apart at the edges, slow and methodical. Karkat had to drop his head back flat to the bed and turn away, face flaming at how he arched his hips hard into Dave’s touch and hissed through his teeth.

“Are you planning on actually fingering me or is that glove just for show?”

“What, can’t handle a little antici….”

“Don’t you end that word, don’t you end that fucking word Dave strider I swear to god I am going to grab your fingers, rip them off, and ride them mysel-“

Dave cut him off with an abrupt slap to his genital slit, hard enough to sting, and Karkat choked on sound in his throat. His gloved hand stayed in place, not moving like he wanted, but setting the pain in further with the heat of his fingers. Dave grabbed him by the chin with his free hand and jerked his head back to look at him.

“If you’re gonna mouth off to me, you’re not gonna get what you want. Clear?”

There was a few seconds pause, and the stern demeanor dropped as Dave tipped his head and looked bashful of all things.

“That okay?”

“Fuck yes it is.”

Getting rough with someone was still relatively new to Dave. He was only ever comfortable when he was in control in the bedroom, but Karkat was used to being handled much more roughly than Dave was initially comfortable with. They’d found a comfortable medium over the years, and even if Dave couldn’t push him as far as he wanted, he still made a fantastic dom. Fantastic and frustrating however often went hand in hand.

Dave lifted his gloved hand off his sheath and Karkat groaned at the loss of contact, then swallowed his noise when Dave slid his uncovered fingers into his mouth.

“Suck. If you’re good for me you might actually get to cum today.”

Karkat glared and bit down, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to make his point. Nobody topped him without at least some fight to it. Dave pinched at the tougher outer lip of his genital slit and twisted hard, and he unlocked his jaw to cry out.

“You wanna make this difficult? I can make this real difficult for you if you don’t wanna behave.” Dave’s fingers pressed down hard enough on his tongue to hurt. “You want me to break you down, is that it tough guy?”

Karkat’s answer was a low growl and squeezing a little too hard at Dave’s dick through his boxers. It tripped him up for a second, Karkat heard the hitch in his breath and watched his jaw work around words that didn’t quite make it, but to his credit he recovered fast.

“Okay wise guy, you wanna play tough? I fuckin’ got your tough right here.” The fingers were out of his mouth in an instant. The glove got peeled off and slapped against the sheets, and Karkat scrambled back and upright on the bed to avoid how Dave grabbed at him. Unfortunately, he might be fast, but Dave had always been a little bit faster, and it wasn’t enough to avoid his reach.

“HELL NO, FUCK YOU, I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY TO TAKE ME YOU ROCK HUMPING BLISTERED BAG OF FUCKMEAT. OFF, GET OFF ME SPINELESS SHITPILE-“

Despite his bravado and flailing, Dave got himself situated at the edge of the bed and hauled his ass over his lap. There was no fanfare to it. Dave had his tail bent back in one hand and his arm like a steel bar pressed down on his back. The slaps were immediate and full strength. Karkat howled and struggled, mentally counting three before Dave paused to let the sting settle in while he trembled and breathed hard through his teeth. Son of a bitch the fucker could swing hard.

“You okay?” Dave’s hand rested on the back of his upper thigh now, stroking comfortingly, and Karkat relaxed the tense arch in his spine, going limp in Dave’s lap. He took a couple breaths to let the pain subside before he answered.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.”

“You sure? That wasn’t too hard was it?”

“No, that was perfect. I can only handle three of those right off the bat, Jesus Christ who did you pawn your soul off to for those fucking arm muscles?”

Dave stroked his fingers across the red welts that were no doubt cropping up on his backside, and he grunted in response, shuddering and squirming.

“Been sucking Egbert’s dick and feeding off his powers, duh. You okay to keep going?”

“I’m incredibly insulted you didn’t invite me to watch, and yes, with fucking warm up though, Jesus. I would like my ass at least semi-intact after this.”

“Can do boss.”

The hits had less strength to them this time, though they still made Karkat cry out and grip hard at the sheets. It was a long process, a round of slapping he strung himself tight as a bow for, and then shuddering limply as Dave dragged his fingers over his aching skin. Slowly, he built up a tolerance, and got to that blissful point where he could take a volley of full strength hits, and the pain got him somewhere high the softest touches could never take him. It mellowed him out, made him loose and pliant. Somewhere along the line, Dave had stripped his own shirt off, and now that Karkat was cooperative, he reached over to tug the rest of Karkat’s clothes down and off his limp legs, balancing his hips carefully on his lap. 

“You ready to behave yourself now sweetcheeks?” Dave’s voice was a purr, and though Karkat had his face buried in his arm, he could still hear and feel Dave patting behind him to find the box of gloves, heard the snap as he pulled a fresh one on. He let out an enthused chirp in response, a noise he would have been mortified to make under any other circumstances, and Dave chuckled at it.

“Good. Get on your back for me.” Karkat peeled himself up off Dave’s lap with some effort, his spine creaking, and they both resituated. While he found a spot and dragged a few pillows and blankets behind his head in a relatively comfortable configuration, Dave stripped his boxers off and refound the condom and lube bottle that had been lost in the shuffle. Karkat lifted his legs obligingly as the human scooted over so their hips were close, and instead of kneeling Dave stuck his legs out straight so they framed Karkat’s sides comfortingly. Karkat rested his hands on Dave’s thighs, his own legs bent up over them and spread loosely, and he swallowed thickly at the audible pop of the lube cap. Dave spent a second letting it warm up on his fingers, rubbing his ungloved hand on Karkat’s knee while he did.

“You’re doing really good for me so far gorgeous, keep it up.” Karkat let out a breath at the praise, right before sucking it back in as gloved fingertips stroked at the lips of his sheath. It was always kind of a weird sensation. Sheaths were meant to hold bulges, not anything else, so the feeling of anything poking around too hard down there made his sheath reflexively clamp down all the harder, the chitinous plate under his skin preventing his bulge from unsheathing, but preventing anything from getting in either. 

“Relax. Relax for me babe I got you, deep breaths for me.” Dave’s voice was a low soothing drone against the deep bass beat, and Karkat took the advice, breathing deep and consciously relaxing. Dave took his time stroking at him, and Karkat let himself focus on it, stretching himself out luxuriously and gripping at the twisted metal baseboard to Dave’s bed. It felt so good, slowly the vice grip of his sheath relaxed, and his half swollen bulge took advantage of the weakness to meet Dave’s fingertips. It was only the first inch or so, but Karkat still cried out at the sensitivity and clamped down again, preventing any more from spilling out.

“Hey, shhh, shh, I’ve got you, relax. In on four, out on eight.” Karkat breathed, mentally counting as he did, and Dave eased more pressure onto the tip of his bulge. It wasn’t long until his sheath relaxed, his bulge hoping to seek out more sensation, and Dave sunk his finger in to the knuckle.

Karkat jerked hard and a strangled warble forced its way out of his throat. A slow bead of fluid ran from his neglected nook down to the base of his tail, and Dave had to move his hand with Karkat’s hips to keep his finger in place.

“Are you okay, did that hurt?” Dave’s concerned voice cut through the fog, and Karkat managed to remember how words worked.

“Fine. I’m fine. Give me a second.” Karkat breathed as he eased his hips back down from where he’d arched them, settling back on the bed. It was a distinctly clinical feeling, someone’s gloved finger where his body wasn’t meant to accept it. His sheath stretched uncomfortably, his bulge already felt crowded, but after a few seconds he was able to relax again, letting out a long sigh.

“Okay, go.”

The movement helped. His bulge stopped trying to shrink back where there was no space, and started twitching against the slow circles Dave rubbed into it. From the small movements Dave began exploring in earnest, feeling at the sensitive insides of his sheath, the small wet noises masked by the tune some nameless star’s voice carried. Karkat squirmed, breathing hard as he let his eyes unfocus on the ceiling.

“Is that good?” Dave asked softly.

“Yeah…” Karkat’s voice was a broken whine. He was farther gone than he thought.

“You looking forward to me fucking your sheath open?” Dave’s voice was hardly a murmur, and Karkat’s loud ensuing whine drowned it out.

His sheath finally fully unclenched, trying to drop his swollen bulge, and Dave had to hurriedly add a second, and then a third finger to block it from slipping out. This time the music didn’t disguise the wet squelch. It burned Karkat’s cheeks, he had to shut his eyes and turn his face away, cussing under his breath.

“Holy shit, I’ll take that as a yes.” Karkat didn’t have to look to know Dave was smirking, but frankly he was too turned on to care, spreading his legs wide and letting out stunted chirps as Dave rocked his fingers into him. He felt so full, the tip of his bulge twitched hard against Dave’s fingertips in the limited space, pushed far back into his sheath.

“Oh my god get in me, right now, I’m not getting any looser.”

“I didn’t hear the magic word.”

“PLEASE holy FUCK Dave!!”

Karkat wasn’t above begging at this point, trembling as he gripped at the wrought iron baseboard to Dave’s bed. Even with his eyes shut he could hear Dave rip the condom packet open with his teeth, and finally turned to look.

It was bright lime, figured. He could see the rolled edge of it peeking out from the ripped condom packet in his teeth. Dave was shaking a little himself, a gorgeous dark flush on his face as he stroked his own neglected dick to stiffen it enough for a condom. Karkat enjoyed the sight until Dave finally tried to roll it on, having a little difficulty with one hand. Gently, Karkat reached and pinched the air out of the tip for him, and Dave let the packet fall from his mouth to talk.

“Oh, shit thanks.”

Karkat’s reply was a wordless hum.

“Okay, fuck, I’m gonna have to get on my knees for this, hand me a pillow.”

Karkat did as he was asked, extracting one from the mess behind his head and passing it down to Dave, wordlessly lifting his hips when Dave nudged at them. The pillow got propped under his hips to lift them, and Dave shuffled around, rearranging himself to get on his knees. The movement jostled the gloved fingers still inside him, and Karkat let out a huff of air at the sensation. Once he was settled, Dave rested the blunt head of his dick just underneath the fingers in his sheath.

“You ready?”

“Do I have to beg again?”

Dave let out a breathless little laugh, paused, and then guided his cock in to fill the space as he slipped his fingers out. In one fluid motion, he sank in nearly to the hilt. Karkat jumped, warbled, and set both hands in a white knuckled grip at Dave’s bed baseboard. He was so full it hurt, sheath straining and clenching again at the new intrusion, but something was off. It hurt last time, sure, but it didn’t feel like something was stabbing him in the guts. It took his bulge squirming in displeasure to figure out why.

“Dave.” Karkat grit out.

“What’s up?” Dave’s voice was strained too. He peeled his glove off with shaking hands and rested them on Karkat’s hips.

“You’re on top of my bulge, it hurts. You need to get underneath it.” Karkat spoke slow, trying to articulate his english and not slur it. The space in his sheath was a lot shallower towards the front of his abdomen. Underneath his bulge, it went deeper. Unfortunately Dave had slipped into the shallow end. His bulge heaved again in discomfort.

“Oh shit, I couldn’t even tell, sorry. Here let me try and get it…”

Dave slid out a few inches, and Karkat let out a relieved breath as the pressure subsided some. He changed his angle, sitting up on his feet a little more, and pressed down at the base of his dick as he pushed back in slow, watching Karkat’s face and stopping when he winced and hissed.

“Shit, sorry, am I still on top?” Dave’s hand trembled hard on his hip, and Karkat spared one of his own to squeeze it. He always got nervous when Karkat was in any real discomfort.

“You’re still on top. You’ll probably feel it when it goes, keep trying.” Karkat was beginning to find it hard to soften his consonants. His sharp native language was bleeding through in a few misplaced snapped T’s.

“Okay. Just let me know if I should stop.” Dave tried again, pulling out a few inches and this time pressing harder on the base of his dick. Something gave with a small wet noise, and they both jumped.

“Oh.” Dave made a fluttery noise in his throat, and Karkat met it with his own chirp. He sank down to the hilt in one smooth stroke, and stayed there, breathing hard.

“Was that-?” 

“That was it.” This time Karkat couldn’t keep the slur out of his voice. His english was half hissed, half snapped, skipped over vowels. His bulge gave an appreciative squirm in the tight space it was trapped in, and Karkat warbled high in his throat at the same time Dave made a shaky little noise.

“Holy shit I felt that.” Dave was breathless, his other hand bracing itself on Karkat’s hip again. “Jesus you’re really fucking tight, I can feel you clamping down on me. Relax, relax.”

Karkat let out a deep breath and consciously forced himself to relax, not realizing how tensed he’d been. As his bulge squirmed against the intrusion, the lingering pain receded, replaced by the primal sensation of having his bulge moving somewhere hot and wet. It was weird, really, nothing like having anything in his nook. It was like somehow being able to fuck his own sheath while getting fucked at the same time. Karkat enjoyed the sensation for a moment, listening to himself and Dave breathe hard, until he finally broke the silence.

“Okay. Go.”

Dave went. He started out slow, not pulling out, but grinding their hips together. It increased the friction some, and when he pressed back hard Karkat could damn well feel how full he was. Both his hands topped Dave’s at his hips, and his eyes blurred out of focus on the textured ceiling. When Dave finally started thrusting, it seemed like he went even slower. Whatever intelligent creature designed humans, Karkat privately thanked them for the particular shape of their genitals. The ridged head of Dave’s dick dragged against his insides in the best way, and Karkat let out a low groan that only pitched in volume when Dave pressed back in, squeezing his bulge against the inside of his sheath with the pressure.

“Hooolyfuck.”

“Is that in a good way?” Dave was breathless, and Karkat paused to chirrup as he pressed back in again.

“Fuckinghellyes. Oh my god.”

Dave’s chuckle was like goddamn moonlight, and Karkat arched his spine as he breathed, squeezed his thighs tight around Dave’s waist. His sheath clamped tight every time Dave thrusted, and relaxed fully when he pulled out. It was a weirdly involuntary reflex, but it wasn’t long until it loosened, the muscles weakly twitching as they finally gave in to being pried open. Karkat began meeting Dave’s thrusts, rocking his hips forward and chirping every other time they met. He didn’t think anything of it when Dave paused and he heard the lube bottle pop open. The next time Dave pressed in, there was a familiar cold slipperiness to it, and Karkat sighed in relief. It took a few experimental thrusts to get comfortable, but once it was it was goddamn magic. Like getting his nook stretched open.

“S’it okay if I go a little harder?”

“Fucking wreck me.” There was a hard edge to Karkat’s consonants now, his accent bleeding through. Dave readjusted his grip on Karkat’s hips.

“You asked for it.”

When Dave started thrusting again, he quickly built up to a much harder pace than before, moaning as he did, though Karkat’s noise quickly drowned him out. It became overwhelming so fast, so much sensation where he wasn’t used to feeling it, and Karkat’s thought processes momentarily ground down into static noise.

“Fuck dude, neighbors!” The sensation slowed to a manageable pace, and it took a few chugging seconds for words to make sense.

“Shit.” Karkat wasn’t sure how loud he’d screamed, but it was probably enough to sound either pretty well fucked, or pretty well murdered. He stuffed the fattier part of his palm in his mouth and bit down.

“No, no no.” Dave stopped entirely and Karkat growled in displeasure when his roommate nudged and smacked his hand out of his mouth.

“Fuck! What- oh.” Dave had grabbed the closest piece of fabric and thrust it at him, which happened to be Karkat’s boxers. He didn’t wait for Karkat to take them though, instead stuffing them half in Karkat’s mouth, which was a nice surprise. Normally he wasn’t so forceful without asking, even though he knew Karkat’s limits were well beyond his. He didn’t give Karkat much time to appreciate it though, quickly building back up to his rapidfire pace.

Karkat screamed though the fabric, digging his claws into the backs of Dave’s hands, and then the sheets underneath him when the foggy parts of his pan still working reminded him claws in flesh was a bad thing. Dave was unrelenting, hips slapping against his still sore skin with dull thuds, and then faltering and slowing as his stamina waned, letting Karkat finally breathe properly. Though properly was a stretch. He took long shuddering gasps through his nose, choking on a warble as Dave ground into him, and when his slow pan caught up, felt a flare of sheer pitch annoyance when he realized Dave was thrusting in time with the music. 

He would have loved to dig his claws right back into the backs of his hands, but with the way his pan shorted out, he didn’t trust himself not to do some serious damage. In the moments before Dave built up speed again, he found himself desperately wishing his hands were bound, and then thought was gone.

Karkat arched off the bed, holding his hips fully in the air as Dave fucked him, moaned, and then abruptly slowed and stopped. Dave breathed raggedly for a moment, and then remembered words himself.

“Holy fuck Karkat I’m gonna cum, where do you want…?”

“Mfhm.” Karkat replied through his boxers. Right.

“Inside.” His mouth felt cottony dry with them out, and his voice was a shrill wreck, but Dave seemed to understand him just fine. He barely had time to hurriedly stuff them back in his mouth before Dave was moving again, building up slower this time, his thrusts growing erratic and sloppy while he groaned through his teeth, and then he was gone.

Dave came with a low moan, and while it was caught with the condom, Karkat still felt his cock pulsing in bizarrely fine detail, moreso than he’d ever felt in his nook. If he focused he swore he felt a warm spot deep in his sheath. It was unspeakably hot in the weirdest way imaginable, he felt sloppy and filthy and his bulge lashed hard as it happened, but all too soon it was over.

Karkat dropped his hips back to the pillow they rested on, but squeezed his thighs around Dave’s waist as he went to pull out, taking the boxers out of his mouth again to speak.

He started in Alternian, caught himself in the foggy bemused smirk Dave gave him, and started again.

“Can you finger me again when you pull out? I’m close.”

“Hell yeah.”

Dave patted until he found the box of gloves again and hurriedly pulled another one on, muttering about going through three gloves in one session like it was some kind of accomplishment. This time as he pulled out he worked his fingers in alongside his cock, hurriedly slipping them inside before Karkat’s bulge could spill out. Karkat cried out as he did, and ground down on his hand with a groan while Dave peeled his condom off, looking for somewhere to put it before settling on Karkat’s lower stomach.

Karkat was torn between being offended, and finding it filthy and kind of hot, but Dave didn’t give him long to ruminate on it, grinding the heel of his palm into the entrance of Karkat’s swollen shut nook. Karkat groaned openly before remembering he had a convenient gag and stuffing his boxers back into his mouth.

It was kind of frustrating, he’d been getting close to orgasm when Dave had finished, but his roommate more than made up for it now, setting a hard pace and fingerfucking his sheath. Karkat shouted through his gag when he worked a fourth finger in, his thumb stabilizing his hand outside as he thrusted.

“God look at you, fucking gorgeous. How’s it feel having your sheath fucked open, huh? I bet if I worked you a little more I could get my damn fist in there-“

Karkat cut him off with a loud whine, his bulge jumping inside him. A familiar heat was beginning to build low in his gut again. Dave’s voice was soft as he braced his thumb at the entrance to his sheath, gently rocking his hand back and fourth.

“Holy fuck I wonder if I could, I bet I could stretch you big enough, I bet I could jerk your bulge off still inside yo-“

“OUT!” Karkat snapped, pulling the fabric out of his mouth. Dave pulled his fingers out hurriedly, and Karkat yelled as his bulge spilled out all at once, thick and coiling and angry. Dave’s hand was on it not a moment later, and Karkat arched hard into the touch, lifting his hips off the bed on badly shaking legs.

It must have taken him ten seconds. The tension in his gut spilled over, and his bulge pulsed and coiled around Dave’s fingers, squeezing hard as his senses faded to static. It wasn’t until he was coming back down he realized he hadn’t muffled himself at all. Whoops.

Dave’s grin said it all when he finally dared to look. 

“You just came with a used condom on you. I just threw that the hell in there because I didn’t know what to do with it. You’re kinkier than I thought.”

Karkat groaned and pulled a spare pillow over his face with weak arms. Even with it in the way, he still heard the snap of the glove as Dave pulled it off, and twitched as he lifted the condom off his belly. The spot felt cold now. Dave collapsed next to him with a loud sigh.

“How was it though, really, did I do alright?” Dave’s voice was hesitant, nervous.

“You did fucking perfect.” Karkat pulled the pillow up just enough to speak, though still covered his eyes. When Dave threw an arm over his waist, he scooted in closer.

“Did it hurt this time?”

“No, actually. I think the problem last time was me cumming IN my sheath. This time I managed to unsheathe before I did and I was fine.”

“I’m assuming that’s why you yelled ‘out’?”

“What? Oh, yeah. I was about to cum and my pan function was almost soley occupied with my genitals, not language.”

“I could tell. What’d you whisper to me in Alternian you bilingual fox?” Karkat took the pillow off his face to hit Dave’s shoulder with it, much to the laughing human’s amusement.

“[Probably something about you being a pants shitting fuckface].” Alternian was a harsh language, made up of hisses and snapped consonants, and Karkat spat the insult at Dave with no real venom. Dave chuckled again.

“It’s like cicadas. Hundreds of screaming bugs. That’s what you sound like.”

“Technically that’s a pretty accurate description of my entire species.”

Things settled into a comfortable silence as the low bass beat filled the space. The lingering wetness between Karkat’s legs was chilly enough to be more uncomfortable than hot now, but he was still far too shaky to move. His legs couldn’t be trusted to hold him if he stood up. He was content to rest for now, until he finally remembered something, and slapped his hand on the bed.

“DAMNIT!”

“What??” Dave’s head shot up in alarm.

“My fucking coffee is cold again!”


End file.
